the 2021 met gala
It didn't take place on the first Monday in May, but it happened, and that's enough for me. "It" is, of course, the Met Gala.
If you aren't like me, meaning you didn't live stream this event in your cubicle at work, and your only source of information regarding this subject is me...first of all...wyd baby. But, secondly, I will try to give the necessary background information.
This year's theme was "In America: A Lexicon of Fashion". Personally, I'm not sure if 2021 is the best year to be celebrating this country, but whatever. Basically, the theme is American fashion. I'm completely talking out of my ass here, but maybe the idea was to highlight boutique American designers since smaller fashion houses were hit so hard by COVID? The amount of European designers showcased on the carpet kind of negates that idea, though.
Before we start, if this is the first Met review of mine you're reading, please keep in mind that I literally only care about whether or not someone was on-theme. You can put on a pretty dress any day of the week if you're famous enough to be invited to this thing in the first place—the point of this event is to honor the THEME, people!!!! This is the baseline of my grading system. I will verify whether or not each person was successful at the end of each review. Penultimately, I am not going to include very single look from the night. Honestly, most of these looks are too mediocre to even comment on. Last thing before we start: I'm leaving my hottest takes for the end.
Okay, let’s go.
Jennifer Lopez in Ralph Lauren
It's simply not working for me. Diet Prada put it best, "...looking like she just hopped off a jet from a safari where she hunted crocodiles, ostrich, and various mammals/rodents."
What is happening on the neck?!?! Entirely too much. For some reason, it's looking like Han Solo cosplay???
The shoes are not it, either.
The errant feathers at the bottom. Just stop.
On theme? Honestly, yeah. A heinous attempt. But yes.
Ella Emhoff in adidas by Stella McCartney
Bestie, I am OBSESSED.
Streetwear realness. It's shockingly accessible which is why I'm considering it on-theme.
The whole look is working—the hair, the makeup. I literally have no critiques.
On theme? Obvi.
Addison Rae in Vintage Tom Ford for Gucci
BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!! This is one of my worst dressed.
Addison is the face of fresh, new fame—who in their right mind thought it was okay to dress her in this tired Tom Ford? Come for me all you want, but I don't even like the dress in general, much less for the Met!!!!
All the shit about Addison "borrowing" this dress from Kourtney Kardashian is dumb af because obviously that's not true and just not now this event works. It's bad for completely different reasons.
It looks frumpy! Honestly, she looks frumpy most of the time (my good sis needs a fucking stylist) but I find it truly upsetting that this is how she's stepping out for her first Met. I guess there's nowhere to go but up? On the off chance that she ever gets invited back.
On theme? Absolutely hell nope.
Karlie Kloss in Carolina Herrera
*SIGH* I have yet to see a good Met look from her (lest we forget the 2019 Dapper Dan for Gucci tragedy.)
I simply can no longer handle high-low dresses in the year 2021.
She's pretty!! It's irrelevant!!!
When the Met theme is long legs and impeccable bone structure, she will eat. Until then, I'm bored.
On theme? The answer is no and I knew it would be before she stepped foot on the carpet.
Tessa Thompson in Iris van Herpen
She killed this.
This is how you do high-class cowboy. And like the dress itself isn't western-themed at all but somehow it works with the hat and the boots?
On theme? Indeed!
Helen Lasichanh and Pharrell Willliams in Chanel
These two quite literally always get it. How do they make matching look chic?
Classy wild, wild west.
The tailoring of the pants is sooooo well done. They are making bolo ties look expensive?!?!? Jaw on ground.
On theme? Duh.
Hailee Steinfeld in Iris van Herpen
Category is: literally who the fuck is this and why is she dressed for the Manus x Machina 2016 Met gala??
This dress is so sick. It would have made sense if it was worn to the VMA's earlier that week or literally anywhere except this event. I do not understand what American motif this could possibly be calling upon. Also, I hate the shoes.
On theme? Literally not even fucking close.
Hunter Schafer in Prada
This look is everything. Cyborg vibes, like some of the other outfits on the carpet that night. The difference is that this works. The others did not (Grimes and Hailee I'm looking @ u).
If we're talking about the "lexicon" of American fashion, it's impossible not to mention the impact queer culture has had on the industry. That's why this works. We'll no doubt be seeing versions of this look all over the place in the next couple months. I'm cringing thinking about the Forever 21 dupe.
Hunter, herself, said it's her individuality that makes her American.
On theme? You already know!!!
Zoë Kravitz in Saint Laurent
She is literally so hot. I wouldn't dream of saying anything negative about her and, like, what could I even say to negate this iconography.
I'm slightly let down, not surprised, that she's wearing YSL, since it's not an American designer. I guess she's been the face of that brand for ever, so it would probably be weird if she wore anyone else.
On theme? Ugh :/ no. Chainmail is so European. She's one of two people in the world who don't need to bother with the theme because they are just that influential, and more importantly, sexy. You can take a guess as to who the other one is.
Cara Delevingne in Christian Dior
It's not giving what you think it's giving, babe.
She really thinks she ate. Ma'am, you're starving. It is the antithesis of cool to equate penetration with power and it's fucking weird that you think otherwise????
I think I would have liked it without the ignorant messaging? Like I'm trying to look at the bones of the outfit and I'm honestly rocking with the monochromatic white after Labor Day. The pants are tailored to perfection and I love the shape of the top (I can't tell if that's tryna be a bulletproof vest? If so, then we have a whole other problem on our hands.)
On theme? Like, no????? But maybe, since ignorance is the greatest American pastime.
Lili Reinhart in Christian Siriano
Sweet girl..........................no.....................
What in the Love Culture middle school dance???? "But Miranda, it features flowers from all 50 states! SHUT UP!!! Again with the high-low silhouette. It is 2021. Make an even hem or don't look at me.
The shoes are also just soooo Junior year prom.
Everything about it is juvenile and I hate it. She is literally so beautiful, why are y'all constantly doing her dirty?
On theme? The flowers are a cop-out. Same vibes as Kim K. wearing a basic ass Versace dress with crosses sewn in at the 2018 Met. An atrocious effort.
Kendall Jenner in Givenchy
One of the best dressed. Indisputable.
I think everyone knows that this look was inspired by Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady, making it quintessential Old Hollywood fashion.
She has a bad habit of showing up to the Met Gala looking hotter than hell, yet completely not on-theme and it has pissed me off for years. I am beyond delighted that she finally figured out how to execute the former while adhering to the theme. I'm obsessed.
This is what I think I look like when I wear granny panties.
On theme? It's redundant, but fuck yes.
Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello in Michael Kors Collection
These two look like body odor personified. I don't know who told Shawn that he was Harry Styles, but they did him one giant disservice. Camila is giving Rue 21 realness. It looks like she decided on October 29th to be Selena for Halloween and this is the only monochromatic purple outfit they had on Fashion Nova. Sis, the expedited shipping was not worth it.
What the FUCK are Shawn's shoes?????
On theme? These stinky motherfuckers showed up not only in these heinous get-ups; they managed to completely disregard the theme, too. And for that, I will never forgive them.
Kim Kardashian in Balenciaga
Y'all aren't gonna like this one! Top 2 looks of the night. Argue with the wall.
Regardless of your personal feelings toward Kim, she is undeniably one of our generations greatest fashion icons. Remember when we were making fun of her for wearing biker shorts like 5 years ago? She is responsible for so many recent trends, I couldn't count if I tried.
Here's why this look worked so well: YOU KNEW WHO THIS WAS WITHOUT SEEING HER FACE. YOU SAW HER FIGURE AND HER PONYTAIL AND YOU KNEW. DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH INFLUENCE YOU HAVE TO HAVE IN ORDER TO MAKE THAT TRUE???? If I wore this outfit, everyone would be like "who is that fucking idiot" and keep it moving. She's been working this theme for years, which is why she's allowed to show up in a black t-shirt. Kim Kardashian is modern American fashion, whether you like it or not.
On theme? BITCH, SHE IS THE THEME!!!!
Robyn Rihanna Fenty in Balenciaga Couture & Rakim “A$AP Rocky” Mayers in ERL
Best looks of the night. Rocky is kind of riding RiRi's coattails on this one, but can we blame him?
These two rolled up so late, wearing a couture comforter and a designer afghan. The comforter I wore during quarantine was decidedly not couture, and was also covered in stains. They perfectly encapsulated COVID fashion. Y'all literally could neverrrrrr. Robs wore a BEANIE and looked infinitely better than every single person present.
Here's the deal: Rihanna is this entire event. Full stop.
On theme? I won't even insult Ms. Fenty by answering that question. As far as Rocky goes, it's a resounding yes.
Honorable Mentions
Maluma in Versace
Gigi Hadid in Prada
Kate Hudson in Michael Kors Collection
Imaan Hammam in Versace
Yara Shahidi in Christian Dior
Zoey Deutch in Versace
Quannah Chasinghorse in Peter Dundas
Alton Mason in Theophilo
Dishonorable Mentions
Kacey Musgraves in Ralph Lauren
Madison Beer in Patricia Voto
Hailey Bieber in Saint Laurent
Nicola Peltz in Valentino
Irina Shayk in Moschino
Virgil Abloh in Off-White
Every straight male who slapped on a plain black tux and called it a day—did Chadwick teach you nothing?????
We've finally come to the end. I have literally been working on this for 6 hours. For now, that's all OG wrote (thank god.)
