the 2019 grammys

Alright so here's my thesis statement about The Grammys...no beating around the bush: this awards show is becoming completely obsolete. The hierarchy of music is crumbling due to the fact that the most popular genre right now is not "pop", it's actually hip hop/rap. Nobody gives a shit what a group of stuffy old dudes think the best song of the year is. There's also like 10 different awards shows that air throughout the year that are catered toward music, making a Grammy seem, again, irrelevant. That's my general feeling toward the Grammys, but I will provide more specific examples so you can see exactly what I'm talking about.

I decided to take live notes as the show was actually happening, so I'm just gonna go down in chronological order and share my thoughts. I'm hoping this style is more candid and honest, if it's even possible for my judgmental ass to be any more candid.

Let's take it from the top. I didn't watch the red carpet show, so we're skipping over that. Generally speaking, the last thing I want to see when I turn on the TV is Camila Cabello prancing around in an ill-fitting canary yellow outfit, but for some reason, that's what I got. And let me just say this about "Havana"...am I the only one who feels like this song came out literally three summers ago? Why is it just now being performed at the Grammys. I couldn't be more sick of it if I tried. Literally the only thing worth noting about the performance is that we were graced with the god-like presence of one Young Thug. Stop playing this damn song everywhere. It's over. It's done. Shut up. Goodnight.

When Alicia Keys walked on stage with her makeup-less face, I knew she would be the guardian angel and literal only thing that would save this show from complete obscurity. I can't even express how thankful I am that she was hosting. I LOVED how she didn't attempt to be funny, but instead chose to be completely genuine and use the platform to express just how much she loves music and what it means to her. How refreshing. If I see one more late night host get up on stage at an awards show and recycle one-liners that some back-room writer conjured up for them......whew.

As if Alicia alone wasn't enough, MICHELLE OBAMA CASUALLY GRACED US WITH HER PRESENCE and for a moment, I let myself believe this night wouldn't be a flop. She and Jada Pinkett-Smith, J-Lo and Lady Gaga pumped the air back into my lungs and gave me the strength I needed to continue on watching. In all honestly I have no clue what Lady Gaga was on, but it was not vibes. I miss the proper ASIB press circuit Gaga. This segment gave the night a female-centric theme, which I am always in for.

Admittedly, I may just be an extra harsh critic, but literally everything the Recording Academy does for the Grammys just reads desperate. Years ago, they started pairing up these "unlikely" duos to do performances, and while it was cool back then, it has now aged into something resembling when your mom starts saying "lit" in an attempt to relate. It always falls flat and it crowds up the show. I cannot for the life of me understand why they're still doing this because I haven't seen positive feedback for one of these collaborative performances in years.

Whoever thought putting Post Malone and Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers on the same stage should have been fired immediately after the performance ended. Absolutely horrible. Was Kiedis's microphone cutting out? Was it a stylistic choice? I'll tell you what it was. A mistake. I don't think it's a hot take to say that Post Malone is truly one of the worst performers of our generation. I don't even want to know how musty that stage smelled after that lot exited. Literally, ew.

I thought the Dolly Parton tribute/performance was delightful and 9 to 5 is a certified BANGER.

Cardi's performance proves that she was talented af when she was a stripper and carried her performance aesthetic from the strip club stage to the Grammys stage! Iconic!

AliciafuckingKeys. When we were greeted back from the commercial break to see her straddling two pianos like it ain't no thang, I actually felt my soul leave my body. IMAGINE being THAT talented. She is one of the gems of the music industry and I think people forget about her because she and Swizz Beats live the cutest and most normal life, but she's absolutely unmatched. Biggest takeaway of the night: Alicia and her two pianos was the threesome I didn't know I needed.

The entirety of Diana Ross's family was giving me life. Her grandson that gave her introduction was everything and more. I would pay to see Tracee Ellis Ross do just about anything, so the fact that I got to watch her watching her mother perform for FREE is honestly beautiful. Diana is 74 years of age and stays reminding us that the greatest remedy to aging is being black.

Lady Gaga's performance of "Shallow" was.......extraterrestrial. I didn't understand it one bit and I wanted it be over the second it started.

My notes for Travis Scott's performance simply say "make the Grammys ratchet again feat. Travis Scott", which I think sums it up pretty nicely.

Now, on to more pressing matters. The lack of nuance associated with awarding the same project Song of the Year AND Record of the Year...just stop. And here's what I'll say about "This is America," it's a fine song. I like it. But does anyone actually know what it means? I think everyone thinks they know what it means but it actually means nothing. The music video makes it seem like it's pointing to some hot take on racism in America, but like...is it? "This is America" is good, but it's not great. And it certainly didn't deserve both of those awards. "I Like It' or "Gods Plan" were literally unavoidable in 2018. If you turned on the radio, went to a club/bar, turned on the TV, etc. you were hearing one of those two songs. I feel like "This is America" was relevant for like two weeks. Maybe I'm just salty.

Here's my overall qualm with the show: because the producers of the Grammys inundate the telecast with all these weird duo/group performances, there isn't enough time to see half of the relevant awards. The Recording Academy hands out 84 Grammy awards. Obviously, we don't need to see all of these. However, were you aware that Ariana Grande won a Grammy? I WASN'T!!!!!! Because it wasn't televised!!!! Were you aware that "Boo'd Up" won a Grammy? I. WAS. NOT. Did you know that Anderson .Paak and Kendrick Lamar tied for a Grammy? I DIDN'T!!!!!! I can't speak for the general public, but I would have much rather seen these people accepting their well deserved awards than watching Flea's 56-year-old shirtless self play guitar behind Post Malone. To be fair, though, I would rather watch grass grow than watch a 56-year-old Flea play guitar behind Post Malone.

My final point is to get some justice for Mac Miller. All night I was waiting for a tribute or really any recognition that this iconic artist is no longer with us. Nothing. During the "In Memoriam" segment they do every year, there were about two seconds dedicated to Mac. Unreal. They invited Mac's mom to come to this bogus ass event, after nominating Mac for Rap Album of the Year, which may lead some people to think they were going to give the Grammy to Mac. NOPE! Oh, but then they'll probably do some type of tribute to him, right? WRONG AGAIN! The lack of respect, I can't.

I think I just about covered it. As always, take everything that I'm saying with a grain of salt because 19.8 million people watched the Grammys and probably thought it was just fine. I'm just a unique breed of complaining/bitchy human.

For now... that's all OG wrote.